The Juicy Dirt ~ celebrity gossip with free side of snark

Well, it’s official. Denise Richards’ “reality” show will hit E! this summer. She fought her ex in court to be able to whore out include her kids. I’m assuming the delay in getting her fascinating self on air has to do with waiting for the writers to get back to work. Only a script can make this famewhore interesting.

Would you really want to follow in Anna Nicole’s footsteps on your “career path?” I think it’s time for this bitch to hurry up and start her porn career before she gets too old to do even that.

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So Juicy sent over a story about Lindsay Lohan today that she meant as a joke, but which I think is actually a good idea. Apparently Tim Burton, one of my favorite directors, is considering making Alice in Wonderland. (Don’t get excited, that’s not the story)

Why is she irritated and I happy? Because Lindsay Lohan is desperately interested in playing Alice. She thinks Lindsay would be horrible in the part, but I for one think it would be perfect to see Lindsay as Alice. Especially if Johnny Depp was in it as the Mad Hatter and Helena Bonham Carter was the Red Queen…

I am all tingly just thinking about it…. So Tim, if you are reading, you have one vote from me for letting Lindsay have the part.

From our source:

Lindsay said: “I just hope they don’t want an unknown, I really want this part.”
Director Tim Burton describes his Wonderland remake as: “It’s just such a classic, and the imagery is so surreal. I don’t know - I’ve never seen a version where I feel like they got it all. It’s a series of weird adventures, and to try to do it where it works as a movie will be interesting. The stories are like drugs for children, you know? It’s like, ‘Whoa, man.’ I think it’s an interesting challenge to direct.”

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It seems the Jolie-Pitts, America’s favorite gorgeous family, are now a target of more than jealousy over their gene pool. Recently shots were fired outside one of their houses, which was scary enough (perhaps that is normal for the rest of us, but shots being fired outside of the ritzy celebrity homes in that kind of neighborhood is not the norm). But now Shiloh, winner of the luckiest baby gene pool, has been targeted.

It seems someone actually made it all the way up to the couple’s front door. They left a note threatening the baby and a photo of the baby. the note said “We got this close already.” In response the Jolie-Pitts have beefed up security. Poor Shiloh hasn’t left the house since early January because of the threats.

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If you are the child of a hoarder, the moment you read that Delta Burke listed “hoarding” as one of the reasons she checked into a psych unit you probably thought “Finally, some attention for this problem.” Many people don’t know what hoarding is, in spite of recent media attention being paid to it by talk show stars like Oprah. Hoarding is something that is commonly found hand in hand with one of several diseases: obsessive compulsive disorder, depression or manic depression (bi-polar disorder). I’m not sure if that makes it a disease in its own right, or a symptom.

Delta Burke listed depression, OCD and hoarding as her reasons for needing a stay in rehab, which all fit together. I am a child of a hoarder (two, actually). I am not alone. Hoarding is a huge issue these days, causing family strife and often leaving children of hoarders holding the bag when the hoarders pass on (how exactly do you dispose of several houses filled to the brim with decades of hoarded items? Answer: you don’t. You call and estate sale service and ask for their help). It isn’t that the children of hoarders don’t love their hoarding parents, they do, it’s just that the amount of stuff makes it all so overwhelming.

The more national attention that can be paid to this disorder the better, in my opinion. Meanwhile, more power to the temperamental star for taking a stab at regaining control of her life. Sure, it may be a publicity stunt, any time a star checks in to rehab that may be the case, but with a laundry list like that I’m thinking it’s probably for real. From Delta’s phone call with TMZ where she broke the news:

The actress acknowledged being on antidepressants, because she suffers from “severe depression” and “generalized anxiety” brought about by an obsessive-compulsive disorder that has devastated her life.

“Have you seen those shows where they don’t find the body for days and they go in to clean up and there are stacks of newspapers up to the ceiling? That’s hoarding. And I hate it,” she added.

Hoarding Resources:

Children of Hoarders Boards

OCF Hoarding Website

How To Help Someone Who Hoards

From Oprah’s Series On Hoarding

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Truly, I am so tired of writing about Britney Spears and her special kind of KRAZEE, and so disgusted that UCLA released her after her parents finally went to bat for her, that this post is really just a link to a fellow blogger (DotSpotter) who wrote about the news in more detail.

Synopsis: Britney checks self out of UCLA mental health unit. UCLA declines comment in wusstastic CYA maneuver. Britney picks up skank-ho man. Britney goes to hotel. Britney probably has skanky afternoon sex in said hotel. Britney goes home. I’d love to put “the end” here, but we all know that isn’t the case.

Update: Brit Brit’s parents released a statement:

“As parents of an adult child in the throws of a mental health crisis, we were extremely disappointed this morning to learn that over the recommendation of her treating psychiatrist, our daughter Britney was released from the hospital that could best care for her and keep her safe. We are deeply concerned about our daughter’s safety and vulnerability and we believe her life is presently at risk. There are conservatorship orders in place created to protect our daughter that are being blatantly disregarded. We ask only that the court’s orders be enforced so that a tragedy may be averted.”

source

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More surprises abound in the Celeb-Rehab arena as Kirstin Dunst checks in to Cirque Lodge. I’ll say one thing for Cirque, they’ve become a better celebrity hot spot than the Ivy these days. Maybe I just missed it, but much like Eva Mendes, I don’t think of Kirstin Dunst as a partier, so this news was a bit of an attention grabber today.

Star Magazine reports that the star actually showed up to the rehab center acting drunk, erratic and emotional, which seems odd to me. I may have a misconception about where Cirque Lodge is, but I’m guessing it involves the phrase “middle of nowhere” in the address. Unless you hired a driver or private plane and proceeded to get tanked on the way there, I don’t buy this part of the story without proof.

Regardless, is Dunst another in a long line of celebrities who seem to have been scared straight by rising star Heath Ledger’s death? I’m guessing yes. Heath had a large circle of friends in Hollyweird and was was well liked by many, and celebrity rehab check ins have certainly gone up in the days since he passed. That’s my theory, anyway.

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The results of the Heath Ledger toxicology reports are in, and yes, folks, it was an OD. The laundry list of meds found in his system included oxycodone (yep, you read that right, the preferred drug of Rush Limbaugh), hydrocodone (Vicodin, and even Greg House wouldn’t add Oxy to that mess), diazepam (Valium), temazepam (Restoril, a killer sleep aid), alprazalam (Xanax), and doxylamine (an OTC sleep aid that’s sold in prescription strength in Australia).

I know we are still supposed to be MOURNING here, but take a look at that concoction list and tell me that isn’t a shopping list for permanent sleep. Just because you have a prescription doesn’t mean it’s okay to take ‘em by the handful. And you might want to get them all filled at the same pharmacy just so they can explain that two pain meds, two anti-anxiety meds, and two sleeping meds don’t play nice.

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Another one bites the dust, as the lovely Eva Mendes, most famous for eliciting the phrase “Wait, that isn’t Carmen Electra?” from my honey every time he sees her in a movie, entered rehab this week.

She joins the celebrity set at the new rehab hot spot Cirque Lodge in Utah, most famous for Lindsay Lohan’s turn around (which, so far, so good - go LiLo!). Cirque seems to have become the destination for celebrities who are a bit more serious about their rehab, as opposed to the joke known as Promises.

The stint in rehab was fully Eva’s idea, and is being played up by her publicist as a pre-emptive strike against some problems she’s been having. To her credit, unlike celebrities who air their dirty laundry for whatever paparazzi looms nearest, Eva’s trouble come as a surprise to many. Her rep mentioned substance abuse, but you’d never have known it by her behavior in public.

Regardless of why she checked in (scared straight by Heath Ledger’s death, perhaps?), we wish her a speedy recovery.

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Britney’s family finally steps up to the plate as the hot mess of a singer headed back to the mental hospital this week. Her father, Jamie spears, sued for and won control of her assets, as well as a much needed restraining order against the skeevy Sam Lufti.

It’s about time her family acted liked, well, a family and her parents parented. But I wonder if this is the extreme example of too little, too late? Having let her spiral out of control for so long, can Britney’s life be turned around to something resembling sane? Time will tell, but I’m going to go with no on this one.

All I know is that I have said the phrase “Who knew K-fed would be the sane one?” or a variation on it, about 9 million times in the last 12 months or so as we watched Britney get worse and worse before our very eyes. At best I think we can say she needs to find a life out of the spotlight if she wants to have any hope of living with her mental problems. I don’t think the constant need for validation and attention in hollywood is any good for her at all. I hope she finds what she needs this time, but only time will tell.

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Jesus. Even the judges in Hollyweird are useless when it comes to parenting common sense. Apparently, a judge is going to let Denise Richards whore out her kids in a reality show over dad Charlie Sheen’s objections.

Please. This bitch has no career left other than making the tabs with crap. Name one person who’s had a reality show whose career has done BETTER after that (and don’t mention Paris Hilton, who should be swallowed up by a land shark already). Can’t do it, can you?  I didn’t think so. She needs to just move on to porn already. Let Grandpa Sheen raise the kids. He’s so hardcore he turned his own kid in for the drugs. That kind of dad is few and far between in this business. Maybe he could give parenting seminars to gits like Lynne Spears and Dina Lohan (oh, wait! Another mom trying to get famous on the backs of her kids!).

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